Donn and I enjoy taking walks together nearly every day, weather permitting. One evening as we walked, I noticed the top of my left foot was getting sore. When I investigated, I discovered the tongue of that shoe had slipped down, leaving that portion of my foot unprotected. Since the Lord often speaks to me through just such incidents, I began to meditate on what significance this one might have.

My first thought was that while the tongue often gets a bad rap for getting us in trouble for saying things we shouldn’t, perhaps at other times, the tongue leaves us unprotected because  things aren’t being said that need to be said.

For example, in situations when verbal abuse is taking place, we may need to say, “From now on, I will only have discussions with you when you speak to me respectfully. I’m going to walk away when you speak to me this way.” When we refuse to speak words like this when they need to be said, we leave ourselves unprotected and at the mercy of the abuser.

Sometimes Christian women especially believe they cannot speak words that need to be said in the mistaken belief that this would not be “submitting” to their husbands. I don’t believe allowing ourselves to be the objects of verbal or physical abuse comes under the heading of “submission.”

I’m not suggesting we should always speak up in every situation. Ecclesiastes 3:7 says there is a time to be silent and a time to speak. There are times when wisdom tells us to “hold our tongues,” and walk away. James 1:19-20 says, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” We desperately need to have our tongues under the control of the Holy Spirit.

But if you constantly find yourself wounded and bleeding from verbal or physical abuse, ask the Lord to show you if you’ve “pushed down your tongue” so many times that you’ve left yourself unprotected and refused to say words that need to be said. It’s also important to remember that just because someone becomes angry at words we say doesn’t mean our words were wrong. Sometimes people can’t bear to hear the truth and respond violently.

My prayer for each of us is that we will use our tongues to speak the truth, to protect ourselves and others when necessary, and to bring honor and glory to the Lord Jesus Christ, our Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit of God.