But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold
(Job 23:10).
I never hear this verse without remembering my mother’s response to it. “I don’t know why we have to be so shiny!” She had been through many trials in her 85 years.
When this scripture was in my promise calendar on Monday morning and then again in Zach Williams’s post for that day, I wondered if another trial was coming. I thought about my mother’s response to this verse and about the many trials I had gone through in the past few years. I, too, wondered why we have to be so shiny!
Two weeks ago in my health update I talked about one of the trials that came about as a result of the weekly chemo treatments I needed because of breast cancer. I’d like to elaborate a little more on the process today.
The Cancer Center did blood work each week before I had my chemo treatment but all of it was non-fasting. Since I get a copy of the results in my UPMC app, I became increasingly concerned when I noticed my Glucose numbers climbing. The result for the Comprehensive Metabolic Panel (CMP) didn’t come into my app until very early the day after my treatment. It always arrived in the wee hours of the morning when I was up because of the steroids and/or something else they had given me the day before. The Glucose number was always positioned at the very top of the CMP with this statement below the high number: “For someone without known diabetes, a glucose value>125 mg/dL indicates that they may have diabetes and this should be confirmed with a follow-up test.”
My non-fasting glucose number were usually well above 125, but no one at the Cancer Center seemed to be concerned—perhaps because it was non-fasting and because they knew steroids can cause high numbers. The day I had a bad reaction to chemo, my oncology nurse said they pumped me full of steroids to stop the reaction and if I’d gone home and checked my glucose level, it would have been over 700!
The continuing high glucose numbers scared me into talking to my oncology nurse in early July, and she told me to call my PCP and have a fasting glucose test done. Primary Health did that as well as an A1C test which shows one’s glucose numbers over the past three months. That’s when I got a call from their office telling me I was just one number below the pre-diabetic stage, and they wanted me to make some “lifestyle changes.”
At first, I convinced myself that the numbers were only high because of the steroids. Then I noticed the little words on the A1C lab results, View Trends. How could they show “trends” when I’d never had an A1C before? But when I clicked on those words, I discovered that my family doctor had been doing A1Cs since 2011 but had never told me the results. One of them in 2022 was in the pre-diabetic range and two others in 2018 and 2011 were close.
My Grandpa Beachy, who died before I was born, was diabetic; my mother was pre-diabetic near the end of her life, and my oldest sister was either diabetic or pre-diabetic when she passed away. Now I was pushing the limits of being pre-diabetic. At first, I wrestled with this knowledge without doing anything about it, but my very high non-fasting glucose reading after our grandson’s wedding (July 15) prompted me to get serious about this development.
So in the middle of chemo treatments, I set out to learn more about carbs and to reduce my intake substantially. When I mentioned this to one of my friends, she said, “As if you needed one more thing to deal with!” To be honest, I felt a bit that way myself! It was stressful changing my diet. But soon after I read a statement that changed my perspective: “If someone tells you that you’re pre-diabetic, thank them! If you make lifestyle changes, you don’t have to go to the next level—diabetes.”
Armed with this knowledge, I began to be thankful my PCP had done an A1C and warned me to make lifestyle changes. I’ve worked hard and my last A1C had dropped four levels and even my non-fasting glucose levels have been normal, well below 100. But it hasn’t been easy.
So on Monday when Job 23:10 was brought to my attention twice, I hoped another trial wasn’t headed my way. I had an appointment that day with my eye doctor who had been monitoring my very early stage macular degeneration which was diagnosed about four years ago, but my condition had been so stable since them that I wasn’t too concerned.
At my last appointment six months ago, my eye doctor looked at the pictures they’d taken (similar to an x-ray of the eyes) and asked me if I was taking vitamins. I explained that I was taking Eye Promise and drinking aronia berry juice which has shown very good results for people with this condition. She smiled and replied, “Keep doing what you’re doing.”
Now six months had passed and after an assistant had put me through most of the usual tests, the doctor came in. She asked if I’d noticed any changes in my vision. I replied, “It’s not as good when I try to read very fine print on bottles, but I thought maybe it was because of my cataracts.” (The doctor had told me that cataracts actually help slow the progression of macular degeneration,, so I’d decided not to have them removed.)
Dr. M shook her head as she sat down and pulled up the “x-rays” of my eyes. One by one she compared them with previous pictures and showed me how the condition had worsened. She said, “Your eyes may stay like this forever and never get any worse, but I want you to see a retina specialist.”
“Is it still “dry?” I’d learned over the years that wet is the name given to the more advanced condition of macular degeneration.
“I think so,” Dr. M said. “But the specialist has better equipment than I have to ascertain whether it’s wet or dry.”
I thanked Dr. M and headed for the outer office where Donn was waiting. I took a deep breath, determined not to cry, and told him the developments. I talked to the receptionist without breaking down as she made my appointment with the retina specialist.
As we left the office, Donn said, “Are you okay?”
I shrugged, wiping my eyes. “This isn’t good.”
Getting into the car, I asked myself, “Why now? Why had the macular degeneration gotten so much worse since my last appointment after being completely stable?
Then I remembered what my body had gone through in the last six months. Had the chemo caused my eyes to get worse? It seemed likely that it could. I’ll talk to the doctor about it soon.
Regardless of what I find out, I will cling to the promise that: [God] knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold. (Job 23:10). He’s the One who gets to decide how shiny He wants us to be!
Heavenly Father, help me remember that you know what you’re doing and you don’t make mistakes. Please enable me to find the strength in you to face another test and come forth as gold. Amen.
Health Update
My sleep issues have gotten better in the last week or so, as have the itchy skin and irritated eyes I mentioned last week, so I’m thankful for that. Please pray that these side effects would be less after my next Targeted Treatment on 10/31/23.
I had an appointment with the PA of my plastic surgeon on Monday morning. The surgeon had basically warned me after surgery in May that I probably wouldn’t see his face again any time soon and I haven’t, so I’m very thankful for his PA. He’s about the age of my oldest grandson, very kind and caring and good at what he does.
He was pleased with how quickly my lab work has gotten back to normal, but we’ve decided to wait until after the holidays for reconstructive surgery. We celebrate Thanksgiving the second weekend of November, so I don’t want to have surgery before that and after that, it will be time to get ready for Christmas.
Please pray that I’ll be able to stick to my low-carb diet as the holidays draw near! Thank you so much for your prayers!