I’ve heard it said that the true test of a marriage is being able to wallpaper a room together! Donn and I have done that many times so I felt we’d passed the test.
Then I started writing books and needed Donn’s help to publish them. God had shown me in very clear ways that He didn’t want me to go the traditional route of having an agent and a publisher. I had a retired husband and a new grandbaby, and I didn’t want anyone telling me when my books needed to be done.
As I explored the possibility of self-publishing, I went to a seminar on the subject. I soon realized the goal of the facilitator, who had her own publishing company, was to convince us that we couldn’t self-publish. She said things like, “Sometimes we can’t even figure out how to __________, and we’re experts!”
She accomplished her purpose. I left the seminar convinced I couldn’t self-publish. Fortunately, a mutual friend on Facebook (who knew nothing of my dilemma) suggested I connect with a woman I’d never met who also was a writer.
When I asked my new friend who her publisher was, she told me she self-published. After hearing about the seminar I’d attended, she said, “If you’re smart enough to write the book, you’re also smart enough to publish it!”
Her words gave me the courage to gather information from her and several of my other writer friends who self-published and take steps in that direction. It didn’t take me long to discover that what my new friend had told me was true for me only if Donn was added to the equation! He had skills that I didn’t have.
(Before our son, Robb, passed away, he was another “go-to” person when I had a problem Donn and I couldn’t solve. Although Robb wasn’t known for patience, he was always patient with me when I needed computer tech help. When I was numbering pages for this book, one of the most difficult parts of the process, it wasn’t until I found Robb’s hand-printed instructions that I got it right.)
When Donn and I started the process of publishing books together, I realized quickly that this, not wallpapering, was the true test of a marriage!
We are now publishing our 7th book (my first book was published by Xulon). I told Donn yesterday that we have job security, because there are parts of the process that I still can’t do and parts of the process that he can’t do. So it takes both of us to publish a book.
Not long after I made that statement, we got stuck in the book-publishing process, and neither of us could figure out how to fix it. Eventually, we stopped and prayed, and the Holy Spirit guided us to the solution.
I told Donn, “I was wrong when I said it took two of us to publish a book—it takes three. Us and the Holy Spirit!”
I’m so grateful that Donn has been my partner in publishing every step of the way. We are different in temperament and at times, I could go on working after he’s had enough for the day, so I try to be sensitive to that.
On Friday when we’d been working quite a few hours, I asked him after supper if he wanted to be done for the day. He asked me what I wanted to do. I said, “I could go on working all evening, but if you’re ready to throw up your hands and run screaming out of the house, we can quit for today.”
Donn laughed and said, “I’m not ready to do that, but let’s quit.”
Last night as I was reading the Scripture from Ecclesiastes 9:7-10 for Our Daily Bread devotions together, I laughed out loud when I got to the part that said:
Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun…
Still laughing, I said, “Yes, this is your lot in life! You married a writer and you spend your meaningless days doing toilsome labor helping her publish books!”
Actually, Donn doesn’t make me feel like he thinks this unless I push too hard after he’s had enough.
Neither of us enjoy the publishing process and publishing is my least favorite part of writing books–it pushes us both to the upper level of our strengths, plus the grace of God to get the job done. But it’s our best option to fulfill my calling as a writer, to get the words to my readers that the Holy Spirit has prompted me to write.
I’m especially grateful that even during all my health challenges this past year, God’s grace was with me to continue writing blogs and then, a week and a half after chemo was finished, to get back to my book projects. His grace IS sufficient for me.
There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord, There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God ad work (I Corinthians 12:4-6).
Thank you, Father, for the many ways you remind us that, as your Holy Spirit enables us, we each have a role to play in the body of Christ. Help us, together, to generously and joyfully use our gifts to bring honor and glory to you. Amen.
Health Update
It’s still too early to tell how I’m doing on the new medicine. I haven’t had any stomach upsets, and I’ve had a few better readings on my blood pressure, but still mostly higher than it should be. My hips seem to be a little better–off and on. Thank you so much for your prayers!