In June when Donn and I went to Maryland for a book signing, we talked with our hostess about the siblings she’d lost. Her family is large and I think she’d already lost three or four brothers/sisters. I told her we had not yet experienced the loss of a sibling in our family, except Angelina who died at birth. That conversation stayed with me as I faced the reality that one day, our family would experience our first loss of this sort. I wondered how it would affect us—how we would respond.

Looking back, I believe God was preparing me for what was to come. Even so, the way it came was unexpected. I didn’t expect to receive word that one of my siblings was in the hospital, unresponsive and on life support. I didn’t expect that the day I’d known would come eventually would come so soon.

Since Lulie was already unresponsive by the time any of us knew she was in the hospital, there were no meaningful conversations, no exchange of last words. Because of this, I was especially thankful that I had purposefully worked through a process of forgiving and letting go of “aughts” I had against others, including my sister, some years earlier. (If you have aught (the smallest thing) against any, forgive. Mark 11:25) Although I grieved for what might have been in Lulie’s life, I wasn’t weighed down by personal regrets.

While we could dwell on the way my sister’s life ended, I choose instead to focus on Romans 8:28: All things work together for good to those who love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.  Because of the circumstances, eleven of us put our lives on hold and went to Tennessee in August, spending more hours together than had been possible for many, many years. This month many of us dropped everything and went to Maryland for Lulie and Bud’s Celebration of Life service. Those who could come had two family reunions this year and reveled in the gift of time with those we love. Not only the siblings but the entire family has been brought closer together. As I evaluate how our family has been affected by this experience, I see the good God has brought.

Perhaps best of all is the realization that regardless of what theological differences my brothers and sisters may have, all of us love Jesus. I have no doubt that one day, all of us will worship together at His feet—probably in four-part harmony! Because of Jesus, who overcame death and the grave, I Corinthians 15:55 is a reality for us and can also be for you.

“O death where is thy victory? O grave where is thy sting?”

Father, death is part of life that none of us can avoid unless your Son, Jesus, returns before we die. Help us place our trust in Him, not only for this life but also for the life to come. Help us live in such a way that we will be prepared to die. Amen.

 Featured photo above: My siblings and me and our parents on their 40th wedding anniversary.

My siblings and me prior to 1959 when Larry was born.

The Melvin Beiler family on Mom and Dad’s 40th wedding anniversary in 1979.

Front row l to r: Our twins, Robbie and Angie, Dad, Mom, Judy’s son, Jeff

Second row: Lulie, me, Donn, Ron’s daughter Brenda and wife, Lola, Ruth, Judy holding daugher, Jamie

Third row: Ron’s daughter Diane, Larry, Ron’s son, Danny, Ron, Ruth’s husband, Harold, Lulie’s son, Mike, and Judy’s husband, Tom, holding their son, Timmy.

(Absent that day, Lulie’s sons Nick and Steve.)

August 27, 2021  I was thinking of this blog the other day and realizing that when I wrote it almost three years ago, I had no idea that the next loss the Beiler family would experience would be our forty-eight-year-old son, Robb. Somehow we always assume the losses in our families will be the older members, and the statement I heard often was that Robb was too young to die. But as we navigate the sometimes stormy waters that follow what seems like an untimely death, I find myself saying often, “We are so thankful that…”  As we focus on the miraculous things God has done, we recognize that He has demonstrated that Romans 8:28 and I Corinthians 15:55 are still true –even in this situation. What a Mighty God we serve.